Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
