with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
