apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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