theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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