Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it's like iHOP with fire
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
