Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
