i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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