Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
