How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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