Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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