I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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