Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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