I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
