You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
