Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
