where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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