Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize