Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
