she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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