i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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