they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
