i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
