Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
