i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's blow job season.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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