so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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