I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
