He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
