I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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