she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize