I showed him my bush... on skype.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
