Plan B is the new Plan A
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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