I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
