Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize