i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
