you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
