Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize