so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
