her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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