Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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