Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
