If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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