I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize