I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
