So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
