Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
