hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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