you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
