Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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