There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
