it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize