I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
