There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
