Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
