When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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