Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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