Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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