i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
