His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
