She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
