Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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