I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just cropdusted the office
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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